Justin H.K. Henninger
Hello, my name is Justin H.K. Henninger and this is my testimony. I was born March 15, 1968 at 5:40 a.m. in Red Bluff, California. My parents divorced when I was seven or eight. My troubles started soon after. When I was nine I stole bikes. My problem was I grew up in a very small town. If I would have graduated, my class would have been twelve students. I was soon caught. Then when I was in the third grade, I got a friend some pot. And, when the school bully tried to get it from my friend, I took it from him. One thing I loved to do was fight and I was very good at it. So since he couldn't beat me up, he told on me. My first arrest was put on probation.
I was a product of an abusive step-mother; mentally and physically. I left home when I was fourteen. It was either move or kill her.
I moved to Lincoln City and got a job at the Shilo Inn. I worked there for one and a half years, then moved to Portland, Oregon with my mother and tried to go to school and work. I had to pay rent; my home was more important than school. Besides, I was getting in way too much trouble. I was also selling pot for my mom on the side. My mother and I got into a fight because I wouldn't steal firewood from our neighbors, who were home at the time, so she kicked me out.
I moved in with a friend and his parents. I started going to church, but we would be stoned most of the time; (sorry God). Then I got a job at the Marriott Hotel, moved out and tried to buy a house. I sold coke on the side (a lot of it). Finally, my door got kicked in by John Binal. You may know him from the cop shows. Anyway, he was after 2 keys and some fully-auto weapons that I had just moved two hours earlier. So I decided my time was up, I decided to get a trade and my GED so I went into Job Corps, but I was kicked off for smoking pot. So I went back to Portland and lived with my brother, which is where I got introduced to crank; which is what I did for about 2 years. I did crank, beat people up and I sold crank. Then I met Suzanne and everything changed (except I still didn't know God.)
I quit crank, quit fighting but I still smoked pot and started drinking. I started a dry wall business, hurt my back, then started a handyman business that lasted eight years. For extra money I got involved with some people who grew pot. Almost went to prison, missed going by just a few hours. I left to go home and the house got raided. I was blessed and didn't know it. So many times I should have died.
By this time, I was a full-blown functioning alcoholic. I drank every day. Then one day I hired a friend to help me with a tree job. He said he knew what to do as far as being a ground man went. Anyway, because of his lack of knowledge, I got my left arm crushed. This could not have happened at a worse time. Suzanne had decided to become a nurse, we had a stack of bills to pay and no income. Our relationship was stressed but I still didn't reach out to God.
I qualified for vocational rehabilitation. So I decided to drive truck. I went to IITR. I graduated in the top three. I got a very good job, then we found out why Suzanne was sick. She has AIDS. After hearing this, I was crushed. You see her ex-husband was an I.V. drug using, bi-sexual. He gave it to her. I was devastated. I went out for what I thought was a one way horseback ride. Once I found what I thought was the right tree, I got off and thought how I would tell my family that I had AIDS. I didn't know anything about it. So I proceeded to cry. I put my 9 mm barrel in my mouth. Then out of the valley a great horned owl flew up and lit on a tree not ten yards from me, mind you. It was 4:30 in the after noon. He just sat there and stared at me with his huge yellow eyes. I pointed my gun at him and screamed what the [beep] are you looking at?!!!
He wouldn't leave so I did. He followed me. I tried two more times without obvious success at suicide. I decided, fine, I will face this. That owl followed me until I reached the road, then he left me. I do believe that God used him to save me. So then, it was time to go home to get tested. At this time in my life I was also a fly-fish-aholic. So I fished the Crooked River and the Deschutes. I got to Portland, almost home, then got pulled over, got a DUI, spent the night in jail; my first of many from that one charge for the next almost 13 years; only about 3 or 4 years out; all the rest in.
Sorry, got off course. The good side of the DUI was that I quit drinking. The bad side, I got introduced to meth. When Suzanne and I first met, I made her a promise that I would never lie to her or do speed. Here she is down to 27 t-cells, a mere shell of her self, when she asked me if I was doing meth. I lied. She knew I was lying and told me I had to move. This didn't happen overnight, it took almost a year. Since I couldn't drive truck, I did my handyman thing again. I was working a lot for a woman named Diana Lia, a very naive person out of all the people I hurt, I feel I hurt her the worst. I lied and stole; she loved me more than any person had. She helped me; I lied to her, she trusted me so I stole from her. She loved me; I hurt her. Not physically, but emotionally. I was the first man she had been with in eight years since her ex-husband.
She introduced me to spirituality, but not God. This lasted until I had a problem with a person who I decided to shoot. They were lucky because he answered the door with his son with him. He didn't know I had my 9 mm in one hand and a 2 liter bottle for a silencer in the other. So I left.
I got caught stealing a 38ยข maple bar, not thirty minutes later. Thank God I went to jail.
After I was released and went home, Diana called my DUI counselor and told him that I had homicidal intentions. Then I was awaken by eight cops and four members of ATF at my door with warrants for my arrest. They removed four handguns, six rifles, two shotguns and bomb-making material. I was in trouble and went to jail.
Diana had finally had enough. It took a year, so while I was in jail my so-called best friend stole everything I had; all my tools, jewelry and sold it and moved. When I got out I had nothing, not even clothes. My mother let me stay with her for a bit, then I went back to jail.
Got some jail-house religion, but not a real relationship with God; promised I wouldn't do drugs anymore, but I was never freed from jail for more than two hours before I was high again; never.
After being released from jail, I stayed with my mom for about two weeks, until she came home drunk and asked me how much money I needed to go back doing what I did (selling drugs). I said for $150.00 I could start again. She said here. I am tired of seeing you on my couch. Go. So off I went with a bag of dope, 2 packs of cigarettes and the clothes on my back. At least I made a new record; two weeks of good standing with my parole officer.
I was now in a new world now; living in bus stops and under bridges. Nobody knew me and I didn't know anybody. It didn't take long before things started to happen. The downtown streets are run by gangs. Peckerwoods, Sickboys, 420 Crew, Blood, Fat----Killers, Those are just the white boy gangs. They all sold meth, they all had blocks. To my knowledge, I was the only independent dealer out there. And I never got robbed of one grain of dope. Part of that could have been my attitude was just a bit crazy (so I thought then) but now I realize it was God. So I lasted one year before being picked up for drugs, back to jail.
And as my saying being true is "Welcome to jail, where you get to meet new friends, and learn new crimes."
I met a meth cook. My cellie, we talked a lot and I do mean a lot. He went to prison, soon after I was released back to the streets. Just before winter I was offered a job as a door dog. I was to help hold down a meth house. I was given dope to make sure tweekers didn't steel everything this guy had when he wasn't looking. It was an adventure. There is a saying that goes, "I will do whatever I have to to walk back in my front door."
If the world I was in bad things happen when the Apostle Paul said, "I am the worst of sinners," that's how I felt for so long; the worst.
For about twelve years I was the devils puppet, helping to make dope, selling dope, destroying lives. In and out of jail. Then I started doing commercial burglaries, robbing businesses. I justified it by telling myself they had insurance, so who cares.
So now my life is pretty relaxed compared to before. Then my partner gets a phone call. A friend of mine has lost his front license plate while doing a burglary, and asks my friend and I to try to find it. We agree and go for a drive. We drive to Woodland, Washington; a town I had never been to before. And driving right into God's master plan for me. We don't find the license plate (because the cops found it on the property) but we do find all the stuff he stole. We loaded up and headed for home. We don't get two miles and there is a Cowlitz cop sheriff. We get pulled over, questioned about the stuff. I tell him we found it, then I say if I am driving the vehicle I am in control of everything in it, right? So, everything is mine. I was trying to take the rap for all the stolen stuff. He said, "It don't work like that around here son." So off to jail we go. So there I sat in a county jail I never heard of, in a town I never new existed looking at going to prison for something I never did. I reached out for my jail religion. In my mind thinking, "No way can they convict me on something I didn't do."
They moved me into a different cell block or should I say God did. Moved me right next to the person who told me about Mountain Ministries. As soon as he told me about it, I was hooked. He gave me the number and I called Gary. We talked and I made up my mind I was going. But deep in my mind I still had other plans. Once again, this didn't happen over night. I sat in jail mad, and I mean real mad. My so-called friend, the one who did do the crime, was free and clear. Did he write me, send word through anybody or even put one cent on my books? No, boy did I have plans for him.
God knew my heart. So the short of it is, I get convicted of a crime that at the time it was being committed I was asleep in Portland, Oregon, I was given 17 months prison time. "Thank you God."
God knew I had to do that much time, with my good time and time served I did a few days short of one year. My time went by fast. I kept in touch with Kelly Otton, I wrote at least once a month.
Then came time for my release. I prayed for courage and strength to resist temptation. And let me tell you what, it came at me with both barrels. First it was pot, then it was an offer of a mix of heroin and speed. It was only God keeping me strong. Then while I was waiting for my ride up to the mountain, I saw for the first time an eagle in flight. I was thanking God for the gift of sight when a quite beautiful girl came pulling up in a very nice car; stopped in front of me and said, "Just got out huh? I got a bag of dope. Want to go for a ride?" All I could do was stare, then I said "No, I got a ride coming," turned and started walking. Then I remembered my duffle bag I just left behind. She was still sitting there. A very safe bet would be that she had never been turned down before and was wondering if I had been in prison for too long. That whole event wasn't me. No way would I turn down dope and sex in my past. You see it wasn't me but Christ in me who told her no. That would be the first of many answered prayers for me.
Let's skip along a bit. I never thought for one moment that I would be doing mission work. First was Mexico. I was invited to Mexico after being on the mountain for only three month. Fresh out of prison still on parole. I thought how was I going to get to go? Then I heard Kelly Otton went when he was still on parole. So I prayed and wasn't told no. Long story short, I went before a judge; my attorney said what he had to (mind you here I am shoved head goatee to my chest.) The judge asked the DA, "Do you have a problem with this?" The DA said, "Well yeah, what if he doesn't come back?" The judge holds up my file, which is quite large, and says, "Do we really care if he comes back?" And says I have no problem signing this. Thank you God.
Mexico was a humbling experience for me, and a blessing beyond words. I was also invited to Thailand. So here was huge challenge because I needed a passport. By his time in my life I had been arrested for so many things. Remember this is a story that goes on for many years. I am leaving a lot out for different reasons, one being I don't want to glorify crime and I have done a lot that I haven't been caught for.
So I applied for my passport, thinking if God wants me there, he will give me my passport. It takes six months I believe to get one. On my probably worst day on the mountain I was getting ready to talk to Fay when she was checking the mail, she hands me a first class envelope. I open in and see my birth certificate then I see a little blue book (my passport.) All I could do is laugh. I laughed so hard I fell down in the middle of the road. We need to be broken before God can rebuild us. It took six weeks for me to get my passport. I also got it while still on parole with a warrant from Oregon. I believe only God can do stuff like that. Since being on the mountain, I have met many good people. I have even become very good friends with police officers. One Joe Deeter and Charlie Rosenswoge. If my family were to hear about this they would probably think I was setting them up for something.
I have graduated the program, but I don't look at it as a graduation from a program, but a graduation into a new, meaningful relationship with God. I am once again a participating member of society. I have been blessed with a job full of challenges and a purpose. I service trucks and trailers for Interstate Wood Products. Thank you God.
I don't smoke; thank you God. I don't crave drugs; thank you God. I don't crave alcohol; thank you God. He has even changed my thought life, big time; thank you God.
When we think about things enough, we will probably fall into sin. With all those words being said, if you are reading this, know that doors are being opened, a way is being made and there is light out there. Believe, if God wants to help me, then he definitely wants to help you.
I do give God all the praise, honor and glory for all the changes in my life. This is just a bit of the life and just a few of the times of Justin H.K. Henninger. Maybe someone can learn from my mistakes.
Thank you and God bless.